Angel of Patience

Thank you for all the comments and emails. I love reading about your house hunting experiences. It's definitely not easy, but my dh and I kept reminding ourselves that looking for a home is a good problem to have. I wouldn't even call it a problem. 

Anyway - we found the right house. And just as people told me, I knew it was 'the one' the moment I stepped in. I was even ready to accept the fact that it doesn't have a studio for me, when I heard my husband's voice... he found a little bonus room that almost had my name on it. I new it was meant to be.

So we wrote an offer. So did someone else. And the long game of offers and counter offers started and lasted for what seemed forever. This is a page in my journal created one of the evenings when I looked at the phone and hoped for the realtors to call.

I'm sorry that I'm not responding to comments. I am sure that you can understand the chaos of packing, working, moving, cooking etc. Every little line makes a difference in my day and I appreciate you all. There will have to be some kind of giveaway when I return to everyday routine. 

Le désappointement

Searching for houses online is the quickest way to get your hopes up. We saw a house in the perfect spot, with just the right amount of rooms and a good price. Our realtor set up a visit for the day after. All I could think of is how much I would like to love the house, to walk in and feel that it is 'the one'. That evening I created this page. And, once again, the French text told a story. Actually, it predicted how I will feel.
I don't speak French, but 'le désappointement' can only mean - disappointment... right? And that's what it was. The family was still living in the house, so they were there when we visited. I have never, ever saw such clutter in my life. We literary had to watch where we were stepping to avoid walking on their clothes. There was no air, no space, no light... I couldn't even use my imagination to picture this place as our home. We quickly left the place, and 'désappointement' is what I felt.

Journal pages

Thank you very much for all good wishes. I couldn't be happier. Or more tired. But this is good tired. When you work from morning till evening with a smile on your face. I didn't expect this house buying experience to be so exhausting. I was warned that it will be an emotional roller coaster.... and it was. With a happy ending.
I have two interesting details to show on my journal pages. I made this page the same night when we made an offer to the first house. We could hardly sleep.... waiting and hoping for a positive answer. It was not positive. We had to accept that that house was not waiting for us.
I was randomly pasting papers to frame the page, using paper scraps from my table and parts of a French book. I didn't even see the name that landed on the page. Julie (The Land of Lost Luggage) recently bought a house and was writing me friendly and knowledgeable emails, cheering me along the way. She helped me a lot.... It was as if someone was holding a light for you in a dark tunnel (at least that's how I saw it, because I didn't know much about the whole process). I love that her name (Julie=Juliette) just appeared on my page... and it will always remind me of that time and a blogging friend that unselfishly shared her experiences with me.
It's too late for me to show the other page.... Maybe tomorrow. It has the same, interesting, random but appropriate word thing going on. I love when that happens.

Happy post

I think that there were enough gloomy photos on this blog. I'm completely ready for a change of energy. Good, happy energy. I'm not yet sure what the color of happy is, but it will come to me very soon. I have some extra very good beautiful lovely amazing news. We purchased our first house!!!!! We lived in different apartments for many years, so you can probably understand how it feels. Just the thought of being able to wake up in the morning and walk outside in the yard makes me smile. We don't have the keys yet, but that didn't stop me from watering the plants in the front yard. I overdid it with the butterflies... but I couldn't resist. In the following days I will share some journal pages that I created during the house-searching process. Now I'll go and look at my messy art table and try to figure out where to start packing...

The color of fear

Norah wanted to see the color of fear. So there it is. Green. With some red.
I am terribly afraid of doctors. I would be the happiest if I never ever saw them in my life. Imagine my 'joy' when my breast started hurting... Not the normal PMS tenderness, a big bad ouch kind of pain. To add to it I had a weird feeling in my left arm. Many horrible theories danced in my head. I went into a deep, dark place and didn't want to think or talk about it. Or do something about it. So I was sitting at my desk, trying to force myself to paint something. Nothing would come to mind. I was not in a mood to create. All I wanted was for the pain to go away. I looked at the crisp white paper and the question - what is the color of fear just came up. I picked up the green.... and in a matter of few minutes the page was done.
You see the butterfly? It took away the pain. My dh helped my problems disappear. It turned out it was my back.... Yes, the tension from the neck and upper back traveled all the way down my left arm, up to the little finger. Days and days of massage and exercise, sitting up straight at the computer cured it. The pain is gone, but the fear is still here. I really should get over being afraid of doctors....

One month later...

Hello! How are you? Thank you for the comments and checking in with me! A month has passed... I'm not sure how to jump back into blogging after that time. Post pictures, I guess.

This was a very emotional month. I don't remember ever having so many different emotions. It's probably good that I didn't take you to that journey with me. I didn't create as much as I planned, but I did make a good amount of journal pages. Probably because I was not worried about showing them, I allowed them to be more raw and personal. I'll share some snippets now, and more in the following days.
You can see from these pieces that I had some bad days.

I used words like this:

The last page I made is finally a happy one. I hope that there will be many more happy ones in the future.

This is the song that made me dance: